Make What’s Important to them Important to You

Make what’s important to them important to you.

This is one powerful way to demonstrate love.

So I bought one of my daughters a £3 gift from Tesco. A little toy goat. She adores it and kept thanking me all day for it.

The following day was a Sunday and my wife was away early to church. This left me to get 4 of my kids ready and out for church on time. This is one challenging task and my goal is to get everyone to leave calm and remain calm myself. I rarely succeed.

On this Sunday one of my daughters had lost their new toy goat. I knew she would be close to a breakdown but on this occasion I had learned how to try and manage the situation.

Make what’s important to them important to you.

So I took the fact she had lost little goat seriously and reassured her it was important and I would look everywhere to find it. I think I had eventually learned through many failures that ignoring a situation like this would never turn out well. This had an immediate calming effect and she remained calm for the 90 minutes it was lost.

This is where I normally blow it with thoughts like:

I don’t have time for this.
It’s only a silly £3 toy anyway.
Why are you so upset over a silly toy?
Look how many other toys you have to play with!
If you don’t stop talking about that goat you will go in the naughty room.

None of these are met with much success. Why not? I’m communicating:

What’s important to you is not important to me.

This attitude rarely influences the other person in a positive way. When a child (and the child in each adult) does not feel heard or understood, anger is never far off.

It made me think about our typical human response.

Flicking through Facebook and you come across a friend doing a fundraiser for a cause they are passionate about it. If we are honest, very often the natural response is not too dissimilar to that of the lost goat.

What’s important to you is not important to me.

And we communicate that whether through silence, indifference or blatantly.

Of course we can’t respond to everyone’s needs out there. And we shouldn’t. But what if on occasion we were able to say and act:

What’s important to you is important to me.

What will be the result?

When I found that goat and gave it to my daughter I got the biggest smile and thank you that would melt any heart.

When we say and act:

what’s important to you is important to me:

It communicates sacrificial love, empathy, understanding and true friendship.

Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a friend that communicated to you:

What’s important to you is important to me?

Well how about starting by being that type of friend or husband or wife or son or daughter?

Maybe you will end up reaping what you sow and have people in your life who communicate

What’s important to you is important to me.